Appreciate the good in the bad

Ever since I started my blog, I’ve written nothing but bad or horrible things about my life. But this time, it’s going to be a bit different. This is going to be one of those positive thinking and grateful posts.

Since the time I graduated, I’ve been through so many hardships including loss of jobs, bad boyfriends and messy family relationships. The list goes on and I’m pretty sure that I’m repeating what I’ve written already.

After waiting patiently for so long, I met the man of my dreams. The one person who was meant to me, my one and only soulmate. Believe me when I say this, I’ve been waiting for him forever, adhering to my positive thinking rules and imagining how I would meet him, but of course it didn’t manifest overnight, it took so many years of being hopeful and bearing through many lonely nights. During that time, something else happened too. I met so many idiots. Plenty of guys whom I had a crush on or liked but not at all worthwhile to be a decent boyfriend. However, in my time of desperateness and self-doubt as to whether I'll ever be married or whatever, I pursued them, understanding fully that they are not worth it. Every time, a person would show their interest, I would always think that they might be the one for me and I wasted a lot of time thinking about them.

There were many nights where I was bowling down with tears in the bathroom or in my room unable to cope with my loneliness or there would be days where I would shed tears over a man I liked but who didn’t like me back or over someone who hurt me. There were days where I wished that I would die because I couldn’t cope with the pain and scarily there were days where I lost faith in my religion.

But this is what I want to tell you guys. All those idiots, those bad boys, taught me a lesson. They made me appreciate the wonderful man I have now. The not-so-worthwhile men taught to me appreciate and respect myself and to understand what’s good for me and to understand what I deserve. If not for the difficult lessons I learnt, I would take this person for granted and I wouldn’t appreciate him or love him like I do now. I know what an amazing, wonderful, caring and an honest person he is. I love him deeply because I’ve associated people who are the opposite of him and I understand the difficulty in finding a similar person as he is out there in the world.

So, the bottom line is that there might be a reason that we are put through difficult struggles. It may sound like preaching and you might wonder how the hell that whatever you are going through can be a good thing. Trust me, I’ve been there. My hardships are not over yet. I know there will be plenty of obstacles to face but I have faith that there might be a higher purpose or a reason as to why I have to go through them. But I have to say that not all obstacles will have a purpose, there were certain things that happened that had no possible explanation whatsoever, so I guess they are just our fate or how we’re supposed to live. Finally, what I wish to say is that, even though you can’t see the silver lining yet, there will be. It’ll take few days, months or many years (like me) for you to really look back and understand why it had to happen to you.