I’m writing this blog as a professionally qualified unemployed person listening to an old album of Evansescence. It feels good to listen to old rock music and I’m feeling good after a long time. It took me four crappy jobs to be really thinking whether I’m capable in working. I doubted myself, my education, my future etc etc. But here I am feeling positive and enjoying my days of unemployment.
My parents lost their faith in me and I think I did too to a certain extent but then again I accepted that maybe this is how it was meant to be. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought that I would be grateful for all the hardships that have come way. I’ve been through shitty breakups, shitty jobs and met shitty people and learnt quite a lot. Throughout all those experiences I’ve become stronger. Every bad thing that happened to me, I’ve learnt, I’ve grown, I’ve become stronger.
There was a time that I was questioning as to why life was so hard on me, why things never work out, why can’t I be living a simple life, why my friends have it easy? But then this amazing thing happened.
The job that I thought to be good enough for me turned out to be a disaster. Within just one month I had trouble. People whom I thought were my friends became my enemies and I was humiliated for things I never did (If by chance a foreigner is reading this, please understand that Sri Lankan private companies do not have proper regulations to protect their employees). The freaky part was I was OK with it. I WAS OK!!!! Without myself knowing I have made peace with how my life was meant to be. I’ve made peace with my circumstances.
I came to a point of desperation where I was full of jealousy towards my friends, my acquaintances because they had it easy or so I thought. I’m sure they’ve their share of shit but my problems and issues were more than theirs and I envied them for that because I didn’t want to be strong. I didn’t want to be struggling. I wanted to be happy and simple like them. But now I look back and I know that I’m so much stronger than any of them. I know that whatever comes my way, I have the strength to face it and I’m proud of myself. I’ve accepted the simple phenomenon “what’s meant to happen, will happen”, good and bad both.
What I got to say is for everyone who’s going through their fair share of shit is, face it, don’t run away, don’t give up, don’t breakdown; it’s going to only make you stronger. You won’t feel that way now. You won’t feel that way in a year. But with time to come you’re going to look back and say thank you even though it sounds stupid. Accept the fact that this is your life; this is how it’s supposed to be.
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